Will Someone Help Me, Please?

[Jason]

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I’m at the IRS building (the tall one).

They were open and I stood in line, got to the window, and the lady said “you’ll have to wait until the 27th of Feb”. I said no I won’t. I want my refund right now. So, she spoke with the janitor (her supervisor) and he approved it. Walked out with my entire refund in $100 bills (well, I did have a $50 bill, too, which sucked!). So, that’s all y’all have to do. The janitor you want is named Eddie. He will book you up.

I’m just laying here, though, so I’ll wait until one of you kind people come get me up. I’m on the sidewalk near meter number 864. Thanks in advance! See ya soon.

[Jason]

@Tyler

That’s fine. I’m at meter 864 just laying here. Can I keep the $50 bill at least? My wife says she’s ready for someone new, anyways. She’s 75, but I think you will like her, still. She loves balls. Little balls. Tennis balls. Baseballs. Ping pong balls. Said she used to like big balls, but never could grip them good. Said she threw a football through a window one time and that was it for bigger balls.

Ok, well, I’ll wait on ya, buddy. Tall IRS building at meter 864. Thank you very much. My wife and money (well, except the $50 bill) will be waiting for ya. Make sure to see Eddie (the janitor). He is approving all kinds of people for their refunds.

Jason

[Tyler]

If you’re just laying there I’m coming to steal your money and your wife.

[Author]

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